


What Dreams May Come

by HPFandom_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, M/M, Romance, Sexual Content, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-09-26
Updated: 2005-09-25
Packaged: 2018-10-01 12:38:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10190063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HPFandom_archivist/pseuds/HPFandom_archivist
Summary: Harry falls into despair as he learns how Severus really feels about him.





	1. Receiving Pain

**Author's Note:**

> Note from SeparatriX, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [HP Fandom](http://fanlore.org/wiki/HP_Fandom_\(archive\)), which was closed for health and financial reasons. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in August 2016. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [HP Fandom collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/hpfandom/profile).

J. K. Rowling owns the Potterverse.

Unbeta’d.

 

Chapter 1 Receiving Pain

Harry moaned as the memories played out in his mind. Severus taunting him, Severus mocking him, Severus belittling him. The images played out over and over as the young man gasped at the emotional pain. Each memory cut into his soul, into his heart as the man he loved berated him for his foolish Gryffindor nobility, berated him for his mere existence.

He couldn’t understand why his Severus could be so cruel, so cold to him. Hadn’t they moved past all the animosity? Hadn’t they at least become friends? In Harry’s heart he wanted so much more from the stern potions master, but now it seemed as if his hopes and dreams were all for naught.

Over and over again the potions master sneered at the idiotic boy who dared to think himself worthy of the attentions of the older man. Over and over again Severus Snape recounted in nauseating detail all of Harry’s numerous shortcomings and failings. “You are just like your father, Potter. Just as arrogant, just as ignorant as your ‘esteemed’ sire. Just as conceited, just as self-righteous as that bigoted, belatedly, late father of yours, Potter,” the potions master sneered at the foolish young man.

Harry retreated into himself as he listened to the venom-laced words issuing from his beloved’s mouth. How could he have ever believed that he had a chance with the acerbic and intimidating professor? How could he have ever thought that the man could ever see him for ‘just Harry?’ How could he have ever believed that the sour man could come to see him as an equal? As someone worthy of being loved and cherished? Crying out his anguish and dismay at the turn of events, the young Gryffindor hung his head in unrelieved and unbridled pain. 

Unable to accept that all of his hopes and dreams had been utterly destroyed, the young man violently shook his head in denial. Why was his Severus doing this to him? Why was he being so cruel, so heartless, so vindictive? What had Harry done to deserve this? As soon as that thought crossed his mind another voice entered the fray. ‘You deserve this because you are a worthless freak of nature. You are unnatural and your kind deserves nothing good.’ Every horrible thing that the Dursleys had ever said to the young wizard came back to him in startling clarity. Every terrible missive sent his way wound itself back into his conscious mind. Every derisive comment flung his way found itself imbedding itself in his psyche. 

Throwing his hands up to his head in agony, Harry tried to block out the cacophony accusing him of all sorts of misdeeds. He knew that it was all true; that he was guilty of all the transgressions that his detractors had claimed. Harry cried out in his pain and wished that he could go back to a time when his Severus still believed in him, when his Sev still loved him, still wanted to be with him, was still proud of him.

The pain only grew in intensity the longer the young man lay there in misery. Not knowing how to process the information, Harry could only keen and moan in bitter anguish. Nothing else seemed possible as the horrible weight of all the words sank into his mind. He truly was worthless and a hopeless waste of space, time and resources. No one wanted him, no one ever could. If Severus could see this, then it must surely be true. Severus would never lie to him. If there was one thing that Harry had been able to count on in his life, it was that the acerbic and stern potions master was unfailingly honest. Even if the words coming from the sarcastic and irascible man’s mouth weren’t pretty or treasured, they were to be trusted. Severus Snape never said anything that wasn’t worth saying. And now he was clearly saying that Harry was a fool to think that he could ever have hoped to be loved, to be cherished. 

His heart pounding, Harry sank even deeper into despair. No one could love such a freak like him. No one could ever want him. His breaths came in gasps as the pain wracked his body. Vital signs surged out of control as the beleaguered young man struggled to accept all of the pain coursing through his mind, body and soul.

Slowly, inevitably Harry began to succumb to the misery surrounding his heart and mind. His breathing slowed dangerously and his heart rate began to skip as he sank into the mire assailing his mind. If Severus could not want him, love him, then perhaps it would just be better if he died. Opening his mind to the abyss, Harry welcomed the death speeding his way.


	2. Receiving Redemption

J. K. Rowling owns the Potterverse.

Unbeta’d.

 

Chapter 2 Receiving Redemption

Severus watched in despair as the vital signs of his beloved began to falter. Troubled onyx eyes sought out the kind and competent eyes of the medi-witch. Understanding the silent question, Poppy patted the arm of the distraught potions master. “Severus, we are doing everything we can. Harry is a strong man and a powerful wizard. He will hang in long enough for the headmaster to find a counter to the curse affecting your mate.”

All they had been able to find out thus far was that the curse was designed to turn the victim’s fears and insecurities against them. Unable to escape the tormenting thoughts, the victim would ultimately succumb to the unrelieved anguish and just simply die.

Closing his eyes, Severus knew better than most what demons haunted Harry’s mind. A childhood full of neglect and vitriol. Those horrid muggles had hated and feared the young wizard and had done their best to destroy his sense of self-worth. A teenager who was thrown blindly into the fray as he entered the wizarding world. Harry had been expected to be everyone’s hero and savior without being given the proper tools, knowledge or support necessary. A young man who had carried the fate of the wizarding, and indeed the entire world upon his slim shoulders.

And now here Harry lay, under the influence of a spell that was tearing his mind, heart and soul apart. And all of his abilities, all of his immense knowledge was absolutely useless as Severus was unable to help his young lover. No one could reach Harry now. No one could assure him that what he was thinking and feeling was not real, not true. 

Running a soothing hand across the clenched fist of his beloved, Severus could only wait in silence for his mentor to find a counter curse to this wretched curse that was destroying his love. Not for the first time Severus replayed the events of that morning, trying to find any piece of information that might give them a clue as to how to fight the curse Harry had been hit with. 

It was late August and he and Harry had walked down to Hogsmeade to pick up some supplies for the upcoming school year. They had just exited the post office and shrunk their packages when a shrill scream met their ears. Turning quickly, they came face to face with Bellatrix Lestrange. A twisted grimace turned her heavy features into a mask of hatred and anger. With a swift wave of her wand, the Death Eater muttered a single word before laughing once more and Disapparating from sight. Neither man had even had the time to hex the crazed witch before she disappeared. 

Severus had just begun to relax when he heard Harry’s scream of agony. He had barely caught his mate before the young man had fallen to the ground. A crowd of curious witches and wizards had gathered around the two men as Severus tried unsuccessfully to rouse Harry. In desperation, the potions master had scooped up his lover and rushed to ‘The Three Broomsticks’ to reach a floo connection. Hurriedly explaining the situation to Madame Rosmerta, Severus had stepped through the floo to the Hogwarts infirmary, his precious cargo safely ensconced in his arms. Immediately Madame Pomfrey set to work, trying without success to rouse the tortured young man from his mind. While Poppy tended to her patient, Severus fire-called the headmaster to inform him of the attack. Upon hearing the curse that the witch had uttered, Albus promised to begin looking for a counter curse. 

After an hour of ineffective potions and charms, his young lover was losing the battle against the curse and his vital signs were faltering. Brushing a tendril of hair out of his beloved’s face, Severus tried to ignore the icy grip that fear had laid heavily on his heart and soul. He didn’t think he could survive if anything happened to his Harry. The young man had come to mean so much to him during the long, hard war. They had both lost so much, so many friends to the Dark Lord and his followers and in their grief had turned to one another. It was in the loneliest and dimmest of times that they had discovered their feelings for one another. Indeed, Severus often thought that it was only their love that had saved them and kept them going through the darkness. And now, having survived the war and the defeat of the Dark Lord, the thought that his Harry could be taken away from him by one of his former master’s insane followers was too much for the normally stoic man. A tear began its long, slow descent down a chiseled cheek as the potions master gave into his misery.

 

That was how Albus found them a few minutes later. His brightly colored robes swishing around him, the headmaster gently touched the arm of his protégé. “Severus, I have found the counter for the curse Bellatrix used, but we must act quickly. It was a simple curse, but the counter must be stronger than the original curse. Therefore, we three will need to cast the counter at the same time in order to overcome the curse.”

Severus lifted his head tiredly as he listened to his mentor and long-time friend. Nodding his understanding, the potions master stood and reached for his wand.

Poppy had come back over to the bed when she heard the headmaster enter the infirmary. Having also heard the explanation, she pulled out her wand and waited for further instruction.

Seeing that both were ready, Albus continued, “The original curse was ‘Addubito,’ which means to doubt. Now all of Harry’s doubts and insecurities are destroying his mind and soul. He will die very soon if we are not successful. We are fortunate in that there is a counter curse, but as I said we all three need to cast it together. Now that counter is ‘‘Accredo,’ which means to believe. Now, on my signal, we all cast it.”

The medi-witch and the potions master raised their wands and waited for the silent signal. On seeing it, three strong voices rang out and a vibrant green light enveloped the supine form of the cursed young man.

 

Severus felt his heart race as he watched for signs that the counter curse had worked. Emerald eyes slowly opened and gazed about in confusion. Sighing, Severus went over to his love and gathered the bewildered young man into his arms. 

Harry blinked as he tried to process what had happened. He remembered leaving the post office when they were confronted by Bella – pulling back from his mate, Harry looked at the now crying older man. “Sev, what happened? What did Bellatrix do? And why are you crying, love?”

“Love, that bitch cursed you and I thought we were going to lose you. Albus found a counter curse, and it…” Severus’ voice gave out as he felt all the fear and grief wash over him. Strong arms wrapped around his body and held him closely.

A small voice broke through the potions master’s tears, “I remember being alone and unwanted and unloved. I thought you had rejected me and I remember just wanting to die. Oh, Sev. It hurt so much.”

With an effort, Severus pulled himself together and wiped the remaining tears from his face. “Hush, my love. It was only the curse making you feel that way. I could never stop loving you, Harry.” As proof, Severus dipped his head and brought his mouth down to his mate’s. The pair melted into the kiss and the affirmation both needed.

 

Poppy placed a hand on her old friend’s arm and led the bemused headmaster away from the lovers. Their part was done, now it was time for the two lovers to reassure one another and continue the healing process.

~The End~


End file.
